


Disillusioned (In which Gatsby fucks up Nick's mind)

by AyYoItsThugNagisa



Category: Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 03:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6595771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyYoItsThugNagisa/pseuds/AyYoItsThugNagisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Carraway tells of all the misfortune that fell on him after Gatsby's death. Shit gets real yo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HIYA!!!! SO THANKS FOR LOOKING THIS WAY AND READING THIS. HEHE PLEASE DO ENJOY.

It had only been a month or so since Gatsby had died. He was buried, stiff and cold in a place without me. I remembered Gatsby so well. I could imagine his voice speaking to me 

'Is it only a little while til you join me old sport?' He would ask me and he meant it wholeheartedly. I could imagine every detail in Gatsby's face, every crease in his expensive clothes, the intoxicating way he smiled as if you were the center of the world. He faked it so often, I had only seen it genuinely when he looked at Daisy and the day we met. It upsets me the fact that he loved her so much, loved her so much that he completely overlooked me.

I would never answer verbally when Gatsby asked I only smiled and nodded. Daisy and Jordan acted as if they cared about my well being, they had locked away all the champagne, gin, whiskey and every other drink that could take me away from all of this. Tom thought he hadn't bothered me at all saying:

'Gatsby isn't worth tearing yourself apart'. I cried that entire night. I had nothing to drown my sorrows and Tom... What did he know about Gatsby's worth. Gatsby was worth more than everything he owned, more then the sun and the moon. Tom with all his riches and carelessness known nothing of Gatsby except that he loved Daisy and was not very discreet, he knew nothing of me either. 

Gatsby used to be James Gatz and I used to be Nick Carraway. He was always sharp whereas my intelligence went unnoticed by all but Gatsby, my mother and my father. Gatsby always knew what he wanted but I only knew that I wanted Gatsby and Gatsby knew that he had to change if he was ever going to get it and I could never get what I wanted. 

That night, as I sat staring at the ceiling in bed thinking of Gatsby, I felt a sudden rush of sadness. I felt the horrible need to punish myself for letting something so precious die out. I peeled the covers off of me, the chilled air showed that it was no longer summer. I had decided that maybe a bath would soothe the pain I felt. I had made my way down the hall I had heard noises that I just assumed were Tom and Daisy arguing. That was my natural thought. Being in this house proved that they were chaotically happy with their disgusting and careless marriage but it didn't stop them from arguing, I knew I shouldn't have but I did I listened to them for a good ten minutes. 

"He is my cousin I know how to help him" Daisy cried out indignantly. I rolled my eyes at that. She hardly knew me. I honestly have become entirely disillusioned with life itself. Tom had seemed set in his decision claiming I wasn't living life without Gatsby. He said I was only faking happiness, pretending to smile when Daisy attempts to be witty or Jordan shamelessly flirting with me or Tom bragging about his riches. Tom may be a complete and utter idiot but he wasn't far off. I would be damned if I was to go to rehab, I had no problem not with drinking and not with coping either it was them with the problem it was them they were the reason Gatsby died. 

I went on my way to the bathroom and started my bath, it was not late so I need not fret about waking anybody. I had waited for the bath to be filled. I removed all my clothes and settled in. I sank further both literally and figuratively. It was like the ocean. He was distraught about Daisy and when he died who was in his mind? Not me, never me it was darling Daisy Buchanan. The same Daisy Buchanan who ran off with her precious perfect family while I slept on the steps to be closer to him even in death. Oh Daisy Buchanan with her riches, beauty, wit and her voice. I once adored it but now the very sound of it makes me feel like a creature of some sorts is clawing its way out of my brain creating a horribly bloodied mess. 

My thoughts soon came to an end and I found myself fully submerged once again both figuratively and literally. The water filled my lungs and I was happy. For the first time after Gatsby had died I smiled a sick yet completely genuine smile. The opposite of Gatsby's if I'm to tell the truth the only thing our smiles had alike were the fact that Daisy used to be the source of both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?? Meee so lets start this off right. Read it and dont forget I love you for reading it.

I woke up coughing up water lying on the bathroom floor. My vision was blurry and distorted Tom was above me. I couldn't decipher the details of his face but I could tell his face was contorted in blind rage and worry. He was talking rather screaming at me and Daisy. 

My vision returned rather quickly and from the corner of my eye I saw a man. A man I knew, loved and needed. I felt his name on my tongue it came out as nothing but a whisper but oh Tom heard it and Tom hated it he turned to Daisy told her to fix this mess. The mess being me obviously. I had expected him to hit me, to hit Daisy but it never came. 

I scrambled to my feet quicker than I ever have to avoid Daisy touching me. I don't know what had possessed me to do such a thing but I ran after Tom he slammed the door and I saw Jordan leaning against a wall smirking. She opened her mouth and said to me.

"Oh my Nick look at you. A sight to behold you are." 

She was right I was a complete mess. Naked, wet and blushing furiously as if I got caught red handed doing what Tom engaged in so often. And so I ran again this time to my room. I didn't plan on sleeping I planned to confront Tom to do what Gatsby would like me to do get him out of the way. I previously had believed that Gatsby was dead but now oh I knew he was alive and I was going to do anything for him. I dressed quickly and didn't bother with my hair. I went to Tom and Daisy's room and knocked I wasn't without manners even when I was enraged and what some would say deranged. 

The door was opened but it wasn't Tom it was Gatsby I was sure of it more sure of this then I was of anything else. He smiled one of his beautiful rare smiles. 

'I missed you old sport.'

I was overwhelmed with happiness I couldn't handle it I looked inside the room and god it was the most grotesque thing I ever saw, Daisy and Jordan were behind me they were gasping, saying words I couldn't understand. I closed my eyes and when I opened them both of them were dead. They looked identical to each other painted smiles and slit throats. Perhaps this is how Gatsby always wanted them but Gatsby didn't do this, no this was all my doing according to Gatsby: 'You did well old sport. You did this all for me didn't you. Daisy would never do this. She like her name suggests is too fragile that much is true.' I cried but for once it was because I was happy not because of my crumbling sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YoU Made itt!!!!! I mean lets be real that took effort. Leave a kudos and a comment broski.


	3. Chapter 3

Oh dear the events that occurred the night before were terrible. But in a sense that terribleness is one of the only things that kept me alive and enabled me to write my experience. Now I suppose before i go ant further I should detail the events that happened after the incident.

"Old sport lets go to my place. What do you say we take a swim." The idea of swimming made me cringe. But I decided that nothing bad would happen if we did and I was right Gatsby and I went to his grand house to see it was well kept. I'm sure Gatsby was happy to see it.

"You wouldnt believe how cruel the world was to me after you" I paused before continuing "died. No one even gave you the time of day. I was teary eyed and cynical for weeks.

"Not even Daisy?" He asked concerned and I replied "Not even Daisy." 

"Old sport, that is very saddening to me. I loved her." I nodded in agreement and I understood. We began to live together and we are happy. The authorities did not come for me and Gatsby loved me I could never decipher whether it was platonic or romantic but it is what it is.

**Author's Note:**

> Im more calm now.... Did you enjoy? I do hope so. Please drop a comment and a kudos if ya'd like.


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